On Traveling + Returning Home
a lesson in contentment
Last week, I booked tickets for my trip to Italy in July and the rush of excitement I feel knowing I'm going back to one of my favorite places is unmatched. I love traveling to new places, but Rome (and Italy in general) has started to feel more like a home away from home over the last few years. I know how to get around easily via train and metro lines, can understand the language and speak it at a basic level, and I have friends that live there. It has been such a blessing to experience a sense of belonging in a place that isn’t where I live full time.
For a year or two after I started traveling to Europe regularly, I would come home feeling sad and a sense of loss. I missed who I was when I traveled - observant, present, adventurous, embracing of a slower pace. As an introvert, I have always loved the comfort of home, so it was a strange feeling to not be ‘happy’ upon returning. If I’m being honest, I think I was feeling like my life outside of travel was ‘boring’ and I was placing my identity too much in being “the girl who is always traveling”. I was seeking something while I was traveling and was never quite sure why I felt like I couldn’t find it at home. What I realize now is that I was searching for contentment. The kind of contentment that has nothing to do with where you are, but the kind that comes from within. The kind that is felt when being fully present and trusting that all God has for me is good. I had made new friends during my travels, fallen in love with regular coffee shop visits + the walkability of European cities, and over all just felt like I was leaving little pieces of my heart around the world. I was worried about leaving those memories + feelings behind and that maybe I would never be able to experience them again. Something had to give - I knew I didn’t want to feel this was EVERY time I came home. I needed a shift in mindset or I needed to move to Europe. Dramatic, I know.
Over the last year or so, I have started to shift my perspective - trying to appreciate the best parts of traveling and being at home. Maybe I am supposed to give my all when I travel - share my heart, my story, my photos and receive these things from others, as well. Maybe it’s ok if I don’t get those parts of my heart back. Maybe home is where I'm supposed to feel held by community and grounded in routine. And maybe, just maybe, the balance of these two things is what makes it all work? I have come to realize that both traveling and returning home contribute to the person I am. Both are fundamental. My life at home isn’t ‘boring’, it’s just different. This perspective has helped me to feel present and truly content no matter which side of the trip I’m on.
Even though I do feel sad when my trips come to an end (I’m still human), I rarely feel that same sadness/ loss I felt a few years ago. I know that returning home means time to rest, reset, sink back into routine + pour into my community. My introverted side can decompress and prepare for the next adventure. I try to focus on the things that I am grateful for in my day to day life, the things I can only experience at home.
On the days when the travel itch is strong, these are a few things I do in an attempt to bring some of the charm + romance of travel into my daily life at home:
slow morning with coffee (espresso), journaling + reading before I start work
long walks with my pup, Charlie while listening to Italian podcasts (see a list of my favorite ones here)
going to a coffee shop to read + people watch
striking up conversations with strangers at coffee shops
Creating my own aperitivo with friends - buying my favorite olives (castelvetrano), delicious cheeses + cured meats, chips, nuts, and a bottle of red wine
light candles + only use lamps in the evenings to create a cozy ambiance
cooking dinner + putting on my ‘Cooking’ playlist (which contains French and Italian music)
allow myself to dream about + research future trips
There is a quote (often attributed to A.A Milne) that says ‘how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard’ and it has always stuck with me. This is what I want for my travels + my time at home - to continue making memories worth missing. As always, thank you so much for reading my ramblings on life + travel! I would love to know your thoughts and if you have experienced anything similar.
Xx
Katie J.
Why Solo Travel?
There is a lot of buzz around solo travel these days - people often romanticize it as a way to explore new places without the pressure of accommodating others. While I absolutely love the charming and romantic aspects of solo travel, if you truly want to be confronted with different sides of yourself, challenge your limiting beliefs, potentially feel “lonely” at times, but also empowered because of all of these things, I suggest you try solo travel. It has changed me profoundly and provided me with confidence I didn’t realize I needed.
I've felt this too, though my 'home away from home' is Paris. I think about this topic a lot and what I've started to conclude is that different places illuminate different parts of ourselves. This AND travel reconnects us to awe, beauty, flexibility, presence, and creativity.
Travel shifts/disrupts our sensory baseline: new inputs (sights, sounds, tastes, textures, smells, etc.) = new associations, thoughts, and possibilities. It frees us from our routine thinking -- we have to look up, tune in, make micro-decisions all the time. And it returns you to wonder -- you become a beginner again, curious, observant.
The question I've been sitting with is: how do I make space for/balance the micro daily moments of awe, beauty, presence, creativity, spontaneity, and play with the macro travel moments.
Aggghhhh I love all of this! "I missed who I was when I traveled - observant, present, adventurous, embracing of a slower pace." - WOW. Was not expecting that, but that and your description of coming home and being grounded in routine fits me perfectly. Love your writing, and so lovely to find a fellow Christian here :)